1. Hmm…

    It all happened too fast… He was gone then she was gone. Everything was spiralling out of control in my head, I mean he died I knew it was coming but I never thought it was actually real and then uni was starting and I had to go be this 100% okay person and I wasn’t. To tell you the truth I was 100% broken… I did things that weren’t really me, I said things without thinking and I didn’t even realise… But in the end that’s why she left… Instead of talking to her and trying to explain I just kept acting the fool and then she was gone… And I went bat shit crazy and made it worse, I lost what little control I had left and essentially hammered the final nail in the coffin, I made it impossible to ever come back from… When the truth is all I really wanted was for her to hold me and make it stop but I didn’t know how to say that, after almost 2 years I still couldn’t let her in… She always used to push back when I pushed her away, I never figured one day she’d just stop pushing… I did things I’m not proud of sure but who hasn’t? I said things to hurt her of course. What couple was always perfect? But that’s the thing, we were perfect… When I wasn’t being a jerk at least… And I ruined it all because I couldn’t show weakness… Why is it that after all that time my ego still got in my way?! So here I am 7 months on and I still feel it like it was yesterday, sure I can not think about it for a while, almost convince myself I’ve moved on, but at night when I’m alone and i see that damn monkey sitting in my bed it all comes back, not an uncontrollable sadness, not tears that go on forever, not any of that… No. What comes is an anger and a guilt and a shame like no other, along with the new realisation that I had perfection at my finger tips and ruined it… All you wanted was me 100% and I couldn’t do that.. You’ll never see this and if you do it makes no difference but I want you to know I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t let you in, I’m sorry I couldn’t let you be there for me, I’m sorry I hurt and betrayed you… But mostly I’m sorry I let you down… You deserve the world and all I ever really wanted to do was give you it… I just didn’t know how, and I guess I still don’t… But what I do know is that I love you. From the bottom of my heart I love you and I hope you find happiness be it by some miracle with me or be it with someone else you deserve that happiness… I’m sorry

     
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  4. (Source: daitao, via set-todestroy)

     
  5. emmacdwatson:

    Happy 24th birthday, Emma Watson! (April 15, 1990) ♥ 

    (via beautifulismyattire)

     
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  7. (Source: corta-pra-18, via picture-sex)

     

  8. Hmm…

    It all happened too fast… He was gone then she was gone. Everything was spiralling out of control in my head, I mean he died I knew it was coming but I never thought it was actually real and then uni was starting and I had to go be this 100% okay person and I wasn’t. To tell you the truth I was 100% broken… I did things that weren’t really me, I said things without thinking and I didn’t even realise… But in the end that’s why she left… Instead of talking to her and trying to explain I just kept acting the fool and then she was gone… And I went bat shit crazy and made it worse, I lost what little control I had left and essentially hammered the final nail in the coffin, I made it impossible to ever come back from… When the truth is all I really wanted was for her to hold me and make it stop but I didn’t know how to say that, after almost 2 years I still couldn’t let her in… She always used to push back when I pushed her away, I never figured one day she’d just stop pushing… I did things I’m not proud of sure but who hasn’t? I said things to hurt her of course. What couple was always perfect? But that’s the thing, we were perfect… When I wasn’t being a jerk at least… And I ruined it all because I couldn’t show weakness… Why is it that after all that time my ego still got in my way?! So here I am 7 months on and I still feel it like it was yesterday, sure I can not think about it for a while, almost convince myself I’ve moved on, but at night when I’m alone and i see that damn monkey sitting in my bed it all comes back, not an uncontrollable sadness, not tears that go on forever, not any of that… No. What comes is an anger and a guilt and a shame like no other, along with the new realisation that I had perfection at my finger tips and ruined it… All you wanted was me 100% and I couldn’t do that.. You’ll never see this and if you do it makes no difference but I want you to know I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t let you in, I’m sorry I couldn’t let you be there for me, I’m sorry I hurt and betrayed you… But mostly I’m sorry I let you down… You deserve the world and all I ever really wanted to do was give you it… I just didn’t know how, and I guess I still don’t… But what I do know is that I love you. From the bottom of my heart I love you and I hope you find happiness be it by some miracle with me or be it with someone else you deserve that happiness… I’m sorry

     
  9. (Source: rosasdiaz, via naomivictoriaaa)

     
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  11. brutalgeneration:

    Deeper into Milford Sound (by Stuck in Customs)

    (via coolstoryfuckface)

     
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  14. Kisses :)

    (Source: weloveluclyn, via kaeandlucy)

     

  15. nyooms:

    putlocker my main bitch, sockshare my side bitch, gorillavid my 3am booty call

    (via f-l-o-a-t-forever)